I Choose Love, Again and Again
On marriage, friendship, and the love that's still to come.
Reflecting on life is one of my favorite past times, and Valentine’s Day has a way of making you think about the people that fill life with meaning. This past year, more than ever, I’ve felt the weight and warmth of love in all it’s forms. From the love I’ve built over a decade to the love I’m still reaching for, it’s been a year of holding on, letting go, and learning to trust the process.
This year, Kelly and I will celebrate ten years of marriage—a milestone that feels like both a blink and a lifetime. Love isn’t always fireworks and grand gestures; sometimes, it’s the quiet moments that sneak up on you. It’s tackling stressful and overwhelming situations together, laughing when nothing seems to be going our way, and communicating with just a glance from across the room.
We’ve weathered storms that could have torn us apart—loss, uncertainty, the kind of life changes that make you question everything. But here we are, still standing, still choosing each other. Let’s be honest: a decade of choosing someone, day after day, is no small thing. There’s something so beautiful about it, I think.
And then there’s the love that surrounds me—my friends. Old friends like V, C, and K, who’ve known me through earlier versions of myself. I’ve tried to make more of an effort to keep in touch across miles and time zones, which isn’t always easy, but always worth it.
And new friends like J, C, S, and N, who’ve carved out their own slices of my heart. They’ve made me feel loved, supported, and listened to in ways I didn’t know I needed. These relationships remind me that love grows, expands, and finds new ways to surprise you. It’s the yipper-yapper sessions, the joint rotations, the Thanksgiving dinners, and the ways in which they show up for me.
But love isn’t just about what’s here; it’s also about what's possible. Lately, I’ve been thinking more about the future—the hope of kids someday, when life feels a little more settled. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Does life ever really settle? Or do we just learn to love it in the chaos?
I really don’t know how life will play out in this particular arena. It’s scary to admit that there are pieces of your heart waiting to be filled. I can only take comfort in the fact that as unconventional as my life has been, things have worked out in their own way. Love has a funny way of showing up somewhat unexpectedly.
As Che Guevara said, “At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love. It is impossible to think of a genuine revolutionary lacking this quality.”1 Whatever love looks like for you today, I hope you take a moment to celebrate it. Because love, in all its forms, is worth holding onto.
Guevara, C. (1965). Socialism and man in Cuba. Marxists Internet Archive. Retrieved from https://www.marxists.org/archive/guevara/1965/03/man-socialism.htm