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Desk Memo

Dear Reader,

I am reluctantly on dating apps. If you want to filter people you see by whether they want a long-term relationship or want kids, you have to pay for that. As of writing, Hinge wants almost $50 a month for this feature. You want to connect with people? Pay up, buddy. And it’s not just dating. Want to hang out with people? Cover charges, subscription apps, paid venues everywhere you turn.

There’s a pattern underneath all of it. Everything around us is optimized for something other than what we actually need it for. Apps for connection don’t actually enable connection, healthcare companies don’t actually provide healthcare, social media is built to keep you scrolling, not to make you feel less alone. The question I keep coming back to is simple: are we ok with it? Is this all there is?

Warmly,
Xavi B

Busy Isn’t the Same as Working

It’s no surprise that AI use in the workplace has increased. I can’t say I’m shocked that time spent on focused work has also dropped 9 percent, according to ActivTrak’s 2026 State of the Workplace report, which analyzed 443 million hours of digital work activity. The average focused session now lasts just 13 minutes. And it’s no wonder. If you’re prompting away, it can feel like you’re getting a lot done. But the threat of distraction is always present. Especially with productivity systems, you can spend more time working on the system itself than on the work the system is supposed to help enhance and enable. This is the trap of the tinkerer. We see it, we’re conscious of it, we try not to fall into it (too much).

But I think this also reveals the priorities of the leadership of these companies. AI isn’t built to help humans reduce real pain in their lives (for the most part) yet. It’s built to make a profit, to keep users using their products, and to keep the money rolling in. But the potential is there! Imagine what humans will be free to do when AI can run large-scale technological systems and handle multi-step processes with no human oversight? That would be objectively good for humanity. But getting there requires democratic control over the technology, not just another product optimized for extraction.

What Two Weeks With a Custom AI Actually Looks Like

I’ve been using Claude to create a robot assistant for about two weeks now. It’s been an exciting ride, but as the ActivTrak research points out, while there are a lot of useful ways to use this tool, there’s also a lot of work that can feel like you’re getting things done, but not really.

Over the first two days, I built around sixteen different skills for my workflows. Summarizing podcast transcripts, creating RSS digests, and building a weekly review workflow that connects with my calendar and email. I gathered that starting with common, repeatable tasks is what MacSparky’s course recommends, so that’s what I did. And frankly, it’s amazing. The power this unlocks is kind of mind-blowing. You build workflows together with Claude, and it writes them. When it makes mistakes, you tell it to update the workflow (also called Skills). The system grows over time and does more of what you want it to do as you work with it.

It’s not perfect. It makes mistakes and formatting errors, and especially with Claude, you run into usage limits (but I think I’ve found a clever way around this for some use cases). For example, I told it to create a wiki based on my journal entries. It did an amazing job, but it also had some weird formatting issues here and there, and notes weren’t linked properly. But it improves because you improve the instructions. Want to know more about how this actually works? Let me know, and I might write a full piece on it.

Fifty Years, and the Clock Is Ticking

The workers at Apple, over fifty years of history, have truly created some magnificent things. I fell in love with the Mac when I was about eleven years old, in the G3 era, with its rainbow colors. We had a few at my school. The iPhone and Watch were true technological advancements, and both have been genre-defining in their respective spaces. There’s a lot of untapped potential at Apple.

The leadership has been making blunder after blunder lately. Vision Pro is a bust, iPadOS needs to go away, and time will tell if their AI play works out. Apple missed the boat on the first wave of AI. That seems pretty clear. But the company is reportedly exploring a hybrid approach to rebuilding Siri, using third-party LLMs like Google’s Gemini or Anthropic’s models alongside its own on-device foundation models. When the AI bubble pops, Apple could be positioned to pick up IP at a much lower price. Watch this space.

Why Making Friends Feels Broken (And Why That’s Not Your Fault)

There’s a common sentiment I hear out there: “It’s so hard to make friends as an adult.” As important as I think Dr. NerdLove’s advice from last week was, it’s also important to recognize the systemic issues at play. This article by Dave Spenger quotes a report that alarmingly shows that 12% of US adults have no close friends, a figure that has quadrupled since 1990. To put this in perspective, that’s over 30 million people. We didn’t all become antisocial out of nowhere!

Maybe you’ve felt this too. While other people seem to have friends from school, work, and church, you don’t. It can be easy to feel like it’s your fault, or even disoriented about where to make friends. The report makes it clear we’re not alone. And notice the thread: just as the apps that are supposed to connect us and the workplaces that are supposed to be productive are optimized for something other than what we actually need, the systems we live in are optimized for something other than what we actually need. So the next time you’re feeling lonely, like no one out there feels like you do, know that millions feel that too. A better world is possible, but we need to fight for it.

The Dispatch Desk

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Farewell

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Thank you for reading. Live long and prosper 🖖

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Desk Memo

Dear Reader,

Imposter syndrome gets a lot of airtime, and for good reason. Most of us are living with some version of it: the feeling that there’s a gap between who you are and who you’re supposed to be.

I ran into my own version of it this week. I’ve been working on getting more comfortable with conversation: the kind that starts cold, with strangers, without a script. It doesn’t come naturally, so I’ve been taking the reps: small talk with people I don’t know, whenever one presents itself. This week, I got a few of those in. What I noticed is that the discomfort doesn’t go away; it just becomes more familiar. That’s what closing the gap looks like—not eliminating the distance, just working it.

That’s what I think a conscious life requires: staying aware of the gap between who you are and who you’re building toward, and putting in the reps instead of waiting until you feel ready.

Before we get into it, Data Stream is entering a new chapter: focused, high-signal. Suppose the new direction isn’t for you; no hard feelings. You can always manage your subscription.

Warmly,
Xavi B

What Ryan Gosling’s Best Role Since Barbie Gets Right About People

Project Hail Mary opens with a man who doesn’t know who he is. He wakes up alone, runs through a basic self-inventory, and has to reconstruct himself from scratch. That’s the film’s premise and, it turns out, its argument. Ryan Gosling plays Ryland Grace, and he’s fantastic, carrying most of the film by himself. The cinematography and color throughout (from the grade to the costumes) felt especially intentional. The red NASA space suit stood out to me; I found it far more delightful than the white suits of real life.

I don’t want to get too much into spoiler territory, so all I’ll say is that the supporting cast is also great, human and non-human alike. The emotional stakes they bring make the film land hard several times, so don’t feel bad if you’re wiping a tear or two. Lens blur is prominent throughout to signal the character’s own blurriness with his memories. There are moments where this almost goes too far, and some viewers might have issues making out the details.

The pacing drags in places, making the film feel longer than its two-and-a-half-hour runtime. The notion that the world’s capitalist governments would work together to solve a global crisis is laughable and utopian, but somehow the film earns it. It’s a story that shows how ordinary people can make extraordinary sacrifices, and a meditation on the resilience of humanity and our instinct to collaborate to survive. Bottom line: it’s genuinely moving, flaws and all. What did you think of the film?

The Robot Assistant Isn’t Just a Chatbot Anymore

Refusing to trust AI companies is reasonable. The technology is still worth paying attention to. Claude Cowork allows people to give AI extensive context and access. You can point it at text files that contain important information for your workflows, projects, goals, tasks, and life. But you also give it access to apps you use through MCPs and connectors. You suddenly have a very powerful AI assistant, tailored to you.

This is exactly what David Sparks covers in his latest Field Guide on “Robot Assistants,” as he calls them. We may be seeing the future of how computers and phones work. The devices run themselves and ask for our input when necessary. It changes the traditional relationship to how files are viewed, organized, and thought of. This is JARVIS from Iron Man, made real. It can handle record creation, updates, deletions, and renames. It can develop a file structure and organization tailored to your needs and follow them without constant user input. David discusses his system in more detail on an episode of Mac Power Users.

The form looks familiar (it’s still a chat interface), but the capability has shifted meaningfully. This isn’t just a smarter search engine; it’s a system that knows your context and can act on it. If that frees people up from the administrative grind to spend more time on the things that actually require being a person, that’s the version of this technology worth paying attention to.

The Shelf Life of a Reality TV Star

The Bachelorette cast Taylor Frankie Paul in an effort to save their franchise with a somewhat already famous lead. Three days before the season’s actual premiere, TMZ released a 2023 video, and now the season has been canceled.

Disney knew. They had footage of this exact incident from the beginning of season one of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. So it got to a point where it would damage the company’s image, and ultimately, they probably thought it would not be profitable for them in the long run to continue the season.

I think it’s very telling of how corporations, like Disney, that produce both The Bachelorette and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, will use these people who put their lives on display for everyone to see for as long as they are entertaining. They make the money, and the moment that they feel like that’s not the case anymore, they discard them and move along. These corporations exploit the personal lives of people, and in this case, children, for money.

Small Talk Isn’t Pretending: It’s the Price of Entry

Making friends is hard, mostly due to capitalism. But capitalism or not, we’d need to make small talk with other humans, and that’s the reality. Dr. NerdLove’s column is fantastic because it explains why small talk is necessary for achieving meaningful relationships. It’s a key stepping stone to understanding whether you align with someone, and skipping steps will lead to mixed results.

Dr. NerdLove’s deeper point is that theory isn’t enough. You can’t just read about socializing; you can’t just read about making friends; you actually have to practice in the real world. You have to challenge yourself to create social interactions with people and put yourself out there. You will only improve through experience.

This connects back to what I was getting at in the Desk Memo: closing the gap between who you are and who you want to become is not just about knowledge; you also need practice. What reps are you putting in? Reply and let me know.

The Dispatch Desk

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Farewell

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Thank you for reading. Live long and prosper 🖖

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Dear Reader,

In less than a month I’ll be back in a classroom, and honestly? I’m equal parts terrified, nervous, and wildly excited. Still, the whole thing feels like the start of a chapter I’m genuinely optimistic about.

Most of the summer has been a paperwork marathon. I’ve hunted down tax returns, chased transcripts, and filled out what feels like a thousand forms just to figure out tuition and financial aid. Now it’s the hurry-up-and-wait phase, hoping I get some grant money.

The season hasn’t been all spreadsheets and signatures, though. It’s also been drenched in love, both falling into new love and nurturing the love already here. Journaling every day has helped nudge me to show up with intention and choose connection on purpose.

I hope your summer is thick with whatever you love most.

Warmly,
Xavi B

Bee My Honey

I was in Sedona recently with my partner, and while we were there, we stumbled into a cute little honey shop called Savannah Bee Company. I picked up an insanely tasty hot honey; sweet up front with a fiery habanero kick on the finish.

Did you know mead is basically a wine fermented from honey? Well, I didn’t. We sampled a flight of their meads, and I’m sold. I don’t drink much alcohol (I’m more of a stoner) but I could definitely get into mead.

Bees, unfortunately, are in a precarious spot right now. Between June 2024 and January 2025, beekeepers lost 62% of commercial honey-bee colonies in the U.S. It’s the second straight year of mass die-offs. The culprit is viruses spread by pesticide-resistant varroa mites, and, naturally, funding for real solutions is throttled by the profit motive.

Capes, Capitalism, and Mommy Vibes

July gifted us not one but two superhero movies—and I’m happy to report, they were both actually good.

James Gunn's Superman feels like a palette cleanser after the grayscale grit of Zack Snyder's version. A friend of mine summed it up perfectly: “Snyder only uses about three colors in each film, and two of them are black and white.” Gunn’s take, by contrast, is drenched in saturated color. The new suit is somehow both classic and modern, and the tone is hopeful even if a bit naive. I submitted a full review to the paper, but here’s a clip:

[Lex] Luthor is shown to be the system, just stripped of its polite mask. He runs a pocket-universe prison for metahumans and political prisoners, backs the Boravian war effort in exchange for stolen land, and brazenly steers the national security apparatus. Yet the film doesn’t question the legitimacy of the state his corporation is fused with. His downfall is framed as personal corruption, not as a structural consequence of capitalism. In this way, the film offers a bourgeois fantasy: evil is a matter of bad individuals, not a consequence of the class relations capitalism produces.

As for Fantastic Four—Pedro Pascal’s take on Reed Richards is delightfully unbearable. The man radiates charisma in most of his roles, but here he had to play a character who’s almost allergic to charm. He nailed it! Vanessa Kirby brings real depth to Sue Storm, and yeah, she’s giving major mommy vibes throughout. It works.

This might also be my favorite depiction of Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm. Johnny’s that perfect blend of lovable asshole and fiercely loyal. Ben’s hilarious, a damn good cook, and the kind of uncle I hope my future kids have.

Big Glass, Big Feelings

The public beta of upcoming iOS 26 is out, and it’s a big one! It’s a complete redesign known as “Liquid Glass.” To say it’s been polarizing might be putting it lightly. After its initial sneak peek back in June, social media was ablaze with people who loved it and others who absolutely hated it.

I’ve gotta say, I was a bit hesitant at first. Big change is scary. I haven’t tried the beta just yet, but I think we’ll get used to it. The real egregious design issues seem to have been ironed out during the early beta period. The early sneak peek was an accessibility nightmare, with what looked like a lot of unreadable text.

I’m excited about the call screening, iMessage features, and new CarPlay design, among a few other features that MKBHD highlights in his video about the new operating system. He points to many of these features being copied over from Android, and I for one hope that trend continues.

The Bots Are Coming for Our Jobs

Everyone and their grandmother seems scared of AI. People fret about what it’ll mean for students and jobs. Others worry about sci-fi coming to life with robots taking over. I think this quote from a New York Times opinion column puts the fear succinctly:

I came to feel that large language models like ChatGPT are intellectual Soylent Green — the fictional foodstuff from the 1973 dystopian film of the same name, marketed as plankton but secretly made of people. After all, what are GPTs if not built from the bodies of the very thing they replace, trained by mining copyrighted language and scraping the internet? And yet they are sold to us not as Soylent Green but as Soylent, the 2013 ‘science-backed’ meal replacement dreamed up by techno-optimists who preferred not to think about their bodies.

Under capitalism, every breakthrough in technology mirrors the system’s dystopian streak. How could it not? Instead of freeing us, a leap like this usually means layoffs and shattered livelihoods for hundreds of thousands of workers. In 2024, more than 130,000 tech workers lost their job.

Under socialism, the same technology could serve human need. It could shorten the workweek, push the worst jobs onto robots, and lift living standards across the board. Imagine what we could build with AI under democratic control, not in the hands of a few shortsighted parasitic billionaires.

Red Is the New Black

We’re only halfway through the year, and it feels like history is speeding up. The war in Ukraine grinds on. Israel's genocidal campaign against the Palestinians continues. Trump tried to start a trade war with China and had to awkwardly walk it back. It’s disorienting—the tectonic plates of the world situation have shifted massively.

The International I’m part of published its World Perspectives document—a sweeping analysis of global developments that will be voted on at our upcoming World Congress. There’s a lot to unpack, but a clear through line is this: conflict between imperialist powers is intensifying. As the article puts it:

The struggle against militarism and imperialism has become a central point of our epoch. We are staunch opponents of imperialist wars and imperialism, but we are not pacifists. We must stress that the only way to guarantee peace is the abolition of the capitalist system which breeds war.

The ruling class has no issue burning through lives and precious resources in pursuit of profit. But for many young people, these wars are waking up something deeper. Today’s 18-year-olds were born in 2007. They’ve spent their entire conscious lives watching one capitalist crisis after another. So it’s no surprise that even the Cato Institute—a right-wing think tank—was recently horrified to find that 62% of Americans under 30 have a favorable view of socialism. And a third say the same about communism.

Folks, it's no exaggeration to say that it’s socialism or barbarism. And the kids seem to get it.

Farewell

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Thanks for reading. Live long and prosper 🖖

Dear Xavi,

I’ve been dating someone amazing for a few years, but they have very different political and philosophical views from me. I don’t mean small disagreements—I mean big, fundamental differences about what is right and the world we should fight for. Can a relationship survive that? Should it?

—Crossed Wires

Dear Crossed Wires,

That depends. What kind of relationship are you trying to build?

Back in 2012, I dated a Republican. It wasn’t a long thing, and at the time I wasn’t even politically awake. I was more worried about the fact that we were having premarital sex and she wasn’t a Jehovah’s Witness. But even then, I knew something felt off. I remember we went to see Lincoln, and afterward she said, “See? It was a Republican who ended slavery.” I didn’t really know what to say. At the time, I associated Christian fanaticism with Republicans.

In a way we did end up breaking up over ideology, but it was mostly religious guilt. Still, there are the seeds of something deeper. The truth is: it’s incredibly difficult to build something long-term with someone if you don’t share a framework for understanding the world.

Politics isn’t just about opinions. It expresses a particular material interest and philosophy. It’s about what whether you believe a better world is possible—and how we go about fighting for it.

That realization has become clearer to me over time, especially in my relationship with Kelly, my partner of ten years. We met while still in the religion, and both of our beliefs have drastically changed since then. But the reason we’re still together isn’t luck—it’s that we kept growing in a similar direction. Our philosophies have evolved, sometimes separately, but in a shared orientation. We’re curious about the world and willing to change our minds. That’s what makes it work.

I’ve had other relationships that challenged me in beautiful ways. Where disagreement sparked deeper thinking. The best relationships I’ve had were about curiosity. They were about taking the kernel of truth in what someone believed and helping each other strip away the rest. That’s rare. And it’s precious.

But I do still have my deal breakers. I believe everyone deserves a life of dignity. We have the resources—right now—to house, feed, and care for every human on this planet. That’s not up for debate. Neither is my sexuality or the fact that I’m polyamorous. If someone can’t respect those things, they don’t get to be close to me.

So what do you do if you’re in love with someone that's not right for you?

Ask yourself: what exactly am I in love with? Sweet words? Affection? The feeling of being chosen? Love isn’t just about how someone makes you feel—it’s about who you become when you’re with them. Are they helping you grow into the person you want to be? Are they holding you back? Are they reinforcing lies you’ve outgrown?

This isn’t of secondary importance. A partner should be someone you can be your true self with, someone who supports you to be the best version of yourself, who likes you for you and not the box they’re trying to fit you in.

If the answer is clear—even if it hurts—you walk away.

And when you do, let it be an act of love. You love yourself enough to know that you can’t compromise yourself. You love yourself enough to trust that there is someone out there who will align with you. You make the decision not in a haze of romance or delusion, but grounded in reality. In your principles.

You deserve better.

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A few weeks ago, I went on a campus tour at Arizona State University. Most of the people there were eighteen-year-olds flanked by their parents—awkwardly holding info packets while their moms asked the tour guide about safety and dining options. I was there with my wife. And that small detail said everything about where I am in life right now.

I’m 33. I’ve lived a few lives already. I built a career in tech without a degree, left it, started over, and now I’m about to become a full-time student. I’m excited. I’m terrified. I’m mourning the version of me who never got this experience when I was younger, and trying to embrace the version of me who gets to have it now.

When I graduated high school, college wasn’t on the table. I was a Jehovah’s Witness, and higher education was discouraged. Not just in a “we can’t afford it” kind of way, but in a deeply ideological, the-world-is-ending-soon way. I genuinely believed there wouldn’t be a future—so why plan for one? So I learned to code, got a job, and tried to survive. My 18-year-old self would’ve thought going to college now is a waste of time. But that same 18-year-old was convinced the end was just around the corner... and that was 15 years ago. If he could see me now—happier, more confident, more curious—I think he might finally start to imagine a future, too.

I haven’t stepped into a classroom yet, but I’ve been on campus. I’ve seen the soft booths in the student union, the little clusters of tables under the trees, the weirdly utopian-feeling walkability of the whole space. It's wild—how much of it is designed just for people to be together. It made me think about the world we could build under socialism. Walkable neighborhoods. Public dining halls. Easy access to quality public transportation. Spaces where people can gather and grow without having to buy a $7 coffee to justify their existence.

I’m not just going to school to "get a better job"—though yes, stability is part of it. I’m going so I can become a history and Spanish teacher. So I can organize. So I can meet people who are hungry for meaning and direction, and help them connect the dots between their personal struggles and the larger systems shaping them. I’m a member of the Revolutionary Communists of America, and Tempe’s campus is one of the most important places we recruit new members. I want to help train and educate some of those young people to carry the torch even further.

It’s scary. The uncertainty doesn’t go away just because you’re older. I don’t know exactly how I’ll afford everything. I don’t know what it will be like to make friends, or show up to class as the “older student” who still gets nervous about being liked. But I believe deeply in the power of education—not just as a job, but as a collective endeavor. As a way of sharpening the mind and preparing for the class battles that lie ahead.

And I’ll fight, to my dying breath, for a world where student debt is nothing more than a relic of capitalism’s cruelty.

So yeah. I showed up to a campus tour with my wife, not my parents. I’m not here to relive my youth. I’m here to build something entirely new.

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Dear Xavi,

I left my religious upbringing behind years ago, but somehow, I still feel guilty about sex. I tell myself I should be free, I should be over this by now—but every time I want something, there’s still a voice in my head whispering that it’s wrong.

I want to fully embrace desire, to stop second-guessing every feeling, to unlearn the shame I never chose. But I don’t know how. How did you do it?

—Trying to Let Go

Dear Trying to Let Go,

Guilt is a terrible liar. It lingers long after its source is gone, whispering that you’re doing something wrong—even when you know, rationally, that you’re not. It doesn’t mean you made a mistake in leaving your old beliefs behind. It just means you were trained, over years, to flinch at your own desires.

Human thought develops dialectically, through contradiction. You might feel free one moment and burdened the next. Some days, desire will feel easy, and others, the old whispers of shame will creep back in. This back-and-forth doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re growing. Two steps forward, one step back—that’s the rhythm of transformation.

This same process was in motion when you left religion. You questioned ideas, tested them against experience, and replaced them with ones that made more sense.

But here’s the catch—just because your mind changed doesn’t mean your body did. Not yet. Your emotions are still working through years of conditioning.

And like any dialectical process, this isn’t a straight line. It’s a constant back-and-forth—discarding old habits of thought while building new ones that actually serve you.

I know this process firsthand, because I’m still living it. I was in the middle of having a sexual experience I was really looking forward to and one intrusive thought led me down a rabbit hole. One thought led to another, and suddenly, I wasn’t in my body anymore—I was in my head. Analyzing. Doubting. Bracing for something to go wrong.

Should I be doing this?
What if it ruins the relationship?
What if they aren’t really attracted to me?

I felt disappointed, frustrated, and almost impatient with myself. I've been on this journey since 2019, why is this still happening to me? And there's almost a different kind of shame that comes over you because you couldn't perform. I talked to my partner about it the next day and that helped me feel a little better. Not because it magically erased the guilt, but because saying it out loud made it feel smaller, less powerful. Shame thrives in secrecy, but when we voice it—especially with someone who sees us without judgment—it starts to unravel.

I'd love to tell you this has only happened to me once. But it hasn't. And it can be very frustrating. You're "free" in theory, but your body isn't cooperating. It’s maddening—wanting something fully in your mind, but feeling like your own body is resisting you. Like you’re fighting a ghost that was planted in you years ago.

I need to continue having patience with myself. Instead of measuring progress by how little guilt I feel, I can shift my focus. Stop thinking about whether your desire is right or wrong and start asking, "What do I want?", "What feels good to me?", "What am I curious to try?"

This could start as small or big as you'd like. Maybe it's just sitting with your desire and feeling comfortable with it. Maybe it's exploring fantasies on your own. Maybe it starts with an honest conversation with your partner. Instead of going down the rabbit hole of "Is it bad that I want to do X?" try reframing it by asking, "What is it about X that has me so intrigued?" Desire is not something you have to justify or explain away. It simply is.

And that includes you. You’ve already freed yourself in thought—now it’s time to live that freedom. It doesn't mean every experience will be perfect or frustration-free. But give yourself permission to embrace it! To revel in it! Because freedom isn’t just about rejecting the old—it’s about creating something new. A life where sex and desire aren’t weighed down by guilt, but embraced with joy. Where pleasure isn’t something to justify—it’s something to claim.

So claim it. Step into it. Let it be yours.

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Dear Xavi,

You talk a lot about Marxism, but I know you also grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness. That seems like a huge shift. What led you from religious faith to revolutionary politics? Was it a gradual process or a sudden realization?

Do you see any surprising connections between your past beliefs and your current worldview? Jehovah’s Witnesses emphasize community and a coming transformation—did that shape how you think about collective struggle? Or did you have to completely break from that mindset?

What was that journey like for you, and what advice would you give to someone questioning their own long-held beliefs?

—Lost but Looking

Dear Lost but Looking,

Thank you so much for sending in this question! I'm excited to see you going through your own process of questioning your beliefs.

At first glance, it might seem like going from being a Jehovah’s Witness to a communist revolutionary is a huge leap. But in some ways, the transition was more natural than you might think. Jehovah’s Witnesses believe in an imminent “end of the world,” where God will destroy the wicked and create a paradise on Earth—a society where no one goes hungry, no one is homeless, and suffering is eliminated. In that sense, they could be seen as idealist utopian socialists. Their vision of paradise mirrors a communistic society, but with a key difference: they believe only divine intervention can bring it about.

It’s not hard to see why this worldview resonates with people. The world today is full of war, hunger, homelessness, and despair. As Marx famously wrote:1

Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.

In other words, religion doesn’t arise in a vacuum—it reflects the suffering and alienation people experience under capitalism. Jehovah’s Witnesses, like many religious groups, tap into that reality, offering people an explanation for their suffering and a promise of something better.

However, their philosophy is ultimately idealist, meaning they believe that ideas (or in this case, God’s will) shape reality. Marxists, on the other hand, take a materialist approach: we understand that people’s consciousness is shaped by their material conditions. To change society, we don’t need divine intervention—we need to change the material conditions that create suffering in the first place.

For me, leaving religion wasn’t an overnight process. I first started questioning my beliefs in 2017. Religion provided answers, but they felt arbitrary: Why is life the way it is? “Because God said so.” Why are gay people condemned? “Because He decided it.” I valued truth, and these answers didn’t hold up. I started identifying as a communist in 2021, but it wasn’t until later that I really understood what that meant. Through this process, I’ve realized that admitting you were wrong isn’t a weakness—it’s the most intellectually honest thing you can do.

And yet, I still want a paradise on Earth. I just no longer believe we need to wait for a God to bring it to us. We already have the scientific knowledge, technology, and productive capacity to create a world where no one goes without. The only thing standing in the way is capitalism itself—a system that prioritizes profit over human needs.

As Marxists, we’re atheists not because we oppose religious freedom, but because we recognize that if people had full, meaningful lives today, the need for religion would naturally wither away. Imagine a world where people only worked a few hours a day, where all their needs were met, and where they had the freedom to reach their full potential. That’s not utopian—it’s entirely possible with a democratically planned economy.

Jehovah’s Witnesses claim to have unity, but it’s a unity based on blind obedience, not understanding. True unity is built on ideological clarity—on people being **convinced** of ideas, not just following orders. And in that sense, they’re right about one thing: the end of this system is coming. Capitalism is historically exhausted. We live in a world of monopolies, overproduction, and artificial scarcity. The climate crisis alone shows that we need a global, rational, democratically planned economy.

The journey of breaking away from religion was difficult, confusing, and at times painful. It meant dismantling my worldview—but as dialectics teaches us, change is a process, and the useful parts remain. My advice to you: be curious. Read. Think. Compare ideas to your own experience. If you do, I believe you’ll find, as I did, that the ideas of Marx, Engels, Lenin, and Trotsky are the most important of our epoch.

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In life, some failures go unnoticed, while others feel like bull-in-a-china-shop moments you can't ignore. In a technical interview this week, I was asked to solve an algorithmic coding problem on the spot. As I fumbled through the live exercise, I knew. I wasn't getting the job. A gut feeling confirmed within hours.

That interview was just one in a long string of rejections. For the past six months, I've been unemployed, and it's riddled me with a bunch of personal doubts. I feel worthless, floating in a sea of automated rejection and "Thank you for applying" emails. Stuck, as if every single door I try is locked. And uncomfortably lost, unsure of what I should do next.

What makes it harder is the feeling of being judged. It's pretty common for people to ask what you do for work, and I dread it every time. I can't help but wonder if people think I'm not trying hard enough, as if I want to be unemployed. Back in September I took a job at Starbucks and quit within two weeks. It was humbling and absolutely sucked. They only pay $15 an hour, which in no universe covers my bills. And so far it's the only job where I've cried after my shift. I thought I'd find something better within a few months. I didn't.

Ultimately, I know it's not my fault. Capitalism is in a global crisis right now, and my industry has been hit especially hard. Since 2022, over 550,000 tech workers have been laid off—more than 130,000 in 2024 alone1. It's not just the numbers; I know plenty of friends and colleagues who are in the exact same boat. It's nice to know I'm not alone, but not like this. And it doesn't make the rejection emails any easier to swallow.

Somedays it feels hopeless. But then I remind myself that this is just a chapter, not the whole story. I've faced challenges before, and I made it through. So what's next? The job search continues. I'll keep putting myself out there. You never know where a job might come from. In the meantime, I'm reminding myself that this experience isn't a reflection of my worth or my skills. Unemployment is an irrational contradiction of the capitalist system, and everything will work itself out—as long as I focus on the things I can change.

Welcome to ‘Ask Xavi’, my advice column on life, love, and more. Submit an anonymous question here.

Dear Xavi,

My friend and I recently started a podcast and I’m looking for any and all advice. We record in Riverside so it’s video as well, but I’m not loving the editing capabilities. I’m currently using CapCut but I can’t send edits to my co-host.

What are your editing recommendations?

I’d like something that allows me to create clips for social media.

Lastly, what platforms should I distribute the podcast to? Currently on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

—Just Starting Out

Dear Just Starting Out,

Thanks so much for this question! Congratulations on your new podcast. I’m so happy for you on your new adventure!

Recording in Riverside is great. It’s a well-designed experience. The paid version of their software however is going to get you better quality recordings, and live streaming capabilities. I think it’s more worth it for the live streaming, but we’ll come back to it when we talk about your later question on distribution.

My opinion changes on whether you should publish the entire show in video or not. But that’s probably for a different article. I will say it's a good idea to record your podcast in video format for promotional reasons alone. So good on you for doing that.

Editing Your Show

CapCut has a lot of great features out of the box. But if you want a more fully fledged editor, look at apps like Premiere Pro or DaVinci Resolve. The latter of which has a free option.

Both of these are used by professional editors and have quite a learning curve. The decision of whether to learn these apps yourself comes down to time, budget, and intention. If you want to learn how to edit your own podcasts and have interest in helping others with this skill, learning it might be a great idea.

Both of those editing apps will allow you to create custom social media clips. Opus Clip is a helpful tool I’ve used to take my podcast videos and create short-form clips. It’s a huge timesaver and even integrates with Premiere Pro.

Your other option is to hire a video podcast editor. I happen to know a good one 😉 An external editor can be great because it gets you a third-party perspective on your show. If you hire the right editor, they’ll easily elevate it.

Live streaming and distribution

I’ve become bullish on live streaming. It’s a way to create more interaction with your audience, it helps keep you consistent, makes creation of your content much easier, and can be a way to distribute your show instantly after you’ve recorded it.

But first, let’s address your question on distribution. The short answer is this: distribute your podcast to every place you possibly can. One of those places should be YouTube.

I do want to acknowledge that YouTube is like every other censorious platform in the United States (i.e. Facebook, Instagram, and yes X as well): only topics within their Overton Window are allowed. I’ve seen them demonetize several creators I love, and anyone who creates political content on YouTube understands this. Many creators have started streaming and uploading to sites like Rumble, Rockfin, Kick, and others as a way to diversify.

That being said, YouTube is the largest podcast platform in the world. YouTube’s unmatched search and discovery opens opportunities to be discovered by new listeners looking for exactly what your podcast offers.

When you livestream on YouTube, your entire broadcast is turned into a video that can be replayed later. Even the live chat is replayed for viewers. YouTube comments are another way for discussion to happen around each of your episodes.

I’m not saying to put all of your eggs in the YouTube basket, but I think it’s an essential platform to have a presence on. Direct people from there to a safe place, like Substack or Rumble.

Wishing you all the best with your podcast ❤️

What did you think of this advice? Let me know in the comments below. Thank you so much for reading and if you’ve got a question, you can submit it anonymously here.

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Welcome to ‘Ask Xavi’, my advice column on life, love, and more. Submit an anonymous question here.

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Dear Xavi,

I divorced my husband of thirty years and faded out of the Jehovah’s Witnesses organization.

I’m thinking a lot about my future choice in partner. Should they be exJW like me? Or someone who’s not been part of or experienced a high control religion?

I feel like a teenager going out into the world learning skills as I go. I’ve never dated and I got married at seventeen inside the organization.

Advice please.

-Feeling Stuck

Dear Feeling Stuck,

Thanks for sending this question. I definitely empathize with your experience. Leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses organization can be disorienting. Seventeen is a such a young age to be married.

I think there’s valid reasons to consider both. And I do want to preemptively say that ultimately the decision is yours. If there’s anything I’ve learned since leaving, getting in touch with your gut is essential!

Have you considered a “hoe phase”? Because I think you may need one! Dating a little bit of both might help you find what feels right for you. Not to mention that getting married at seventeen, you really didn’t get to date at all.

Dating an exJW or even some of our cult cousins (i.e. exMormons, ex-Scientologists, ex-Evangelicals, etc) has its perks. You share trauma, but you also share trauma you know? I’ve had a few partners that are ex-religious in some sense and it’s been incredibly healing. Being able to talk about your experiences and understand each other is a great thing. I’ve found that many of us are navigating similar things: unlearning purity culture, learning how to be social, where to be social, what life looks like for us beyond the religion, etc. 

Someone without this background might not understand. They might’ve grown up with secure attachments, support of their autonomy, and acceptance of their sexuality. This can be healing in its own right. They can open you up to new ways of thinking and new experiences. It won’t mean they’re not traumatized in their own way, but it’ll be different.

What are you looking for in a partner? What kind of things are you interested in sexually? What kind of political and moral issues are important to you? Do you want a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship?

How you feel around them? Do you feel safe to be yourself? Do you feel safe to express your feelings about the relationship or in general? Are your boundaries respected? Are you intellectually challenged? Are you loved and supported? Does it feel important to you for your partner to have an exJW background?

I’m wishing you all the best with your journey. I hope you find a partner that loves and cares for you the way you deserve ❤️

What did you think of this advice? Let me know in the comments below. Thank you so much for reading and if you’ve got a question, you can submit it anonymously here.

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Yesterday was my 32nd birthday. This year is feeling different for me so far. Like a fog finally dissipating. With that has come a clarity I’m not sure I’ve ever felt. Here are thirty-two things I would tell my past self:

1. Some things don’t work out. It’s ok. It’s not the end of the world. A lot of the times it’s for the best.

2. Do it now and reward yourself. I know you say you’ll do it later. Hell, I know you’ll do it. But you’ll be much happier if you do it now.

3. Drink water. Other fluids are fine, but try to drink twice the amount of water for every other drink.

4. Touch yourself. And don’t feel bad about it. Anyone telling you it’s wrong or that God doesn’t like it doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

5. Self-hatred doesn’t lead to change. I know your flaws frustrate you, but hating them as if they’re not part of you does you no good. Love yourself into growing and becoming better.

6. Your blood relatives aren’t your family. Family sticks together. It doesn’t tolerate or foster abuse. Family is about love and support. The people who end up playing that role in your life might be related to you, they might not.

7. Being yourself is manly. Being a man isn’t about the colors you like, how you talk, or your mannerisms. You’re manly because you’re a man. Focus on being a person of integrity.

8. Being told “You’re too much” isn’t a reflection of you. The person is telling you they don’t have the emotional capacity or maturity for you. Next.

9. You can only invite someone into your life, the rest is up to them. Wanting someone in your life is only part of the equation. They have to want to be in your life too.

10. If you wouldn’t say something about someone else, don’t say it about yourself. Don’t repeat the mean or negative things that people say to you about you. How do you feel about it? Repeat that instead.

11. Be naked more. You have nothing to be ashamed of. We’re more than our bodies. Anyone who dislikes you for it isn’t worthy of you.

12. Enjoy the journey, worry less about the destination. There are no shortcuts. Relationships take time to build. Wounds need time to heal. There’s so much to be grateful for in the now.

13. Just tell them. Default to telling people how you feel. Let it be a filter for people that aren’t meant for you.

14. If you feel it, you belong. Stop it with the imposter syndrome. You have that feeling in your soul for a reason. Follow that.

15. Quit. It’s ok. It’s not the end of the world. Your health and happiness are your responsibility and trumps everything else.

16. Don’t Quit. Things that matter require work. Go into things with a commitment to doing everything in your power to see it through. History’s greatest people accomplished those things because they didn’t give up.

17. Take videos and pictures of your life. Be your own documentarian. The years seem to go faster and faster. You’ll never regret having a picture or video you can sob to years later.

18. Sing at the top of your lungs. Do it in the car. Do it in the shower. Do it in front of people. Do it by yourself. Are we still talking about singing?

19. Stand by what you believe. If you don’t want to say you believe something publicly, ask yourself why. Standing by what you believe isn’t the same as not challenging those beliefs.

20. Allow yourself to change your mind. Approach life with an open mind. Being opinionated doesn’t mean those opinions can’t change. Being intellectually honest is about owning that you got it wrong, and doing better next time.

21. Do your research. Don’t take someone’s word for it. Find it for yourself. Actually read the references.

22. Spend your money primarily in experiences and helping those in need. Gadgets and things are cool, but they add nothing meaningful to your life. Mutual aid, buying people food, and traveling will nurture you.

23. Pay yourself first. Before you pay anything else, save a portion and put that in a place you don’t touch. Preferably a place that accrues interest.

24. Just because you meant well, doesn’t mean you didn’t cause harm. Saying you didn’t mean to isn’t enough. Apologize for the harm you caused. Commit to doing better. Move on.

25. Spend time alone. Do things for you. What are activities that bring you joy? Learn to enjoy your own presence. Learn to like you.

26. Trust freely, forgive selectively. Don’t let previous experiences stop you from trusting new people. Don’t let people who’ve already shown you who they are do any more damage.

27. Rejection doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Not everyone is going to gel. You’re not doing anything wrong. Not everything is about you.

28. There’s no right decision. There’s only the decision you make. Life is full of these kinds of situations. Gather as much information as you can, sleep on it, phone a friend if you really need to, and go for it.

29. Read what you enjoy. There’s no such thing as a “real reader.” Just read things. Get lost in new worlds, find ways to make the world better, or just spend the time.

30. Do some drugs. Weed and mushrooms are medicine. Let them heal the parts that therapy can’t. Pay attention to how they connect you to the earth and to others.

31. It’s ok to be a horny bitch. Sex is actually a totally natural thing. It’s fun. Find people that you can be horny with. You’re not alone.

32. You’re loved. There are many people who will love you. You haven’t met most of them. But no matter what, always be the first person that does.

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